Thomas A. Edison
“To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.” Thomas A. Edison US inventor (1847 – 1931)
David Broder on Politics
“Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he’ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.” David Broder
Francis Bacon on Certainties
“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.” Sir Francis Bacon English author, courtier, & philosopher (1561 – 1626)
Dave Barry on Argument
“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.” Dave Barry US columnist & humorist (1947 – )
Bill Watterson on Intelligent Life
“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.” Bill Watterson, cartoonist, Calvin and Hobbes US cartoonist (1958 – )
H. L. Mencken on Money
“The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.” H. L. Mencken US editor (1880 – 1956)
A. A. Milne on Disorder
“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.” A. A. Milne English juvenile author (1882 – 1956)
L. M. Boyd Cynical Quote
“There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool.” L. M. Boyd
Stanislaw J. Lec on Patience
“You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.” Stanislaw J. Lec, “Unkempt Thoughts” Polish writer (1909 – 1966)
Edward Abbey on Tyranny
“No tyranny is so irksome as petty tyranny: the officious demands of policemen, government clerks, and electromechanical gadgets.” Edward Abbey US radical environmentalist (1927 – 1989)
Peter Ustinov on Money
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov English actor & author (1921 – 2004)
Saint Thomas Aquinas on Faith
“Faith has to do with things that are not seen and hope with things that are not at hand.” Saint Thomas Aquinas
Jeff Marder Cynical Quote
“We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.” Jeff Marder
Ambrose Bierce on Absurdity
“Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.” Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary US author & satirist (1842 – 1914)
Gertrude Stein on Information
“Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.” Gertrude Stein US author in France (1874 – 1946)
Marshall McLuhan’s Funny Quote
“I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say.” Marshall McLuhan Canadian author, educator, & philosopher (1911 – 1980)
Maya Angelou on Change
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” Maya Angelou
Napoleon Bonaparte on Peace
“If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon shots.” Napoleon Bonaparte
Frank Gifford on Sports
“Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.” Frank Gifford
Albert Einstein on Science
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein, (attributed) US (German-born) physicist (1879 – 1955)
Jay Leno Cynical Quote
“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.” Jay Leno US comedian & television host (1950 – )
Jerry Seinfeld on Society
“A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.” Jerry Seinfeld US comedian & television actor (1954 – )
Carl Becker on Humanity
“The significance of man is that he is insignificant and is aware of it.” Carl Becker
J. Bartlett Brebner on Politics
“Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.” J. Bartlett Brebner
Hannah Arendt on Forgiveness
“Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.” Hannah Arendt
Benjamin Franklin on Money
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” Benjamin Franklin US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, & printer (1706 – 1790)
Otto von Bismarck Cynical Quote
“When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn’t the slightest intention of putting it into practice.” Otto von Bismarck German Prussian politician (1815 – 1898)
Christopher Reeve on Dreams
“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” Christopher Reeve
Saint Augustine on Wisdom
“Patience is the companion of wisdom.” Saint Augustine
George Orwell on Language
“The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink.” George Orwell, “Politics and the English Language”, 1946 English essayist, novelist, & satirist (1903 – 1950)
Victor Hugo on Music
“Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.” Victor Hugo
Annie Dillard on Life
“There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by.” Annie Dillard, The Writing Life
Isaac Asimov on Computers
“Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.” Isaac Asimov US science fiction novelist & scholar (1920 – 1992)
Robertson Davies on Future
“The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealised past.” Robertson Davies, “A Voice from the Attic”, 1960
Joseph Conrad on Evil
“The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.” Joseph Conrad, Under Western Eyes, 1911 English (Polish-born) novelist (1857 – 1924)
Oscar Wilde on Truth
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.” Oscar Wilde Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 – 1900)
Japanese Proverb about Reading
“If you believe everything you read, better not read.” Japanese Proverb
E. B. White on Planning
“I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.” E. B. White US author & humorist (1899 – 1985)
Henri Matisse on Art
“A picture must possess a real power to generate light and for a long time now I’ve been conscious of expressing myself through light or rather in light.” Henri Matisse
Victor Hugo on Thought
“A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought. There is a visible labor and there is an invisible labor.” Victor Hugo French dramatist, novelist, & poet (1802 – 1885)
Maurice Chevalier on Age
“A comfortable old age is the reward of a well-spent youth. Instead of its bringing sad and melancholy prospects of decay, it would give us hopes of eternal youth in a better world.” Maurice Chevalier
Denis Diderot on Morality
“There is no moral precept that does not have something inconvenient about it.” Denis Diderot French author, encyclopedist, & philosopher (1713 – 1784)
Lester J. Pourciau on Politics
“There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee.” Lester J. Pourciau
John Wanamaker on Advertising
“Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half.” John Wanamaker US department store merchant (1838 – 1922)
Bertrand Russell on Happiness
“If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.” Bertrand Russell British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 – 1970)
Franklin Pierce Adams on Politics
“Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.” Franklin Pierce Adams US journalist (1881 – 1960)
Elbert Hubbard on Journalism
“Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.” Elbert Hubbard US author (1856 – 1915)
Somerset Maugham on Love
“The love that lasts longest is the love that is never returned.” Somerset Maugham
Douglas Adams on Society
“Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules” Douglas Adams
Oscar Wilde on Business
“My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people’s.” Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan, 1892 Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 – 1900)
Erma Bombeck on Success
“Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.” Erma Bombeck
Robert Benchley on Quotations
“The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.” Robert Benchley US actor, author, & humorist (1889 – 1945)
Charles Peters on Politics
“Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy.” Charles Peters
Marshall McLuhan on Life
“There is absolutely no inevitability as long as there is a willingness to contemplate what is happening.” Marshall McLuhan Canadian author, educator, & philosopher (1911 – 1980)
Anonymous on Power
“All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.” Unknown
Neil Armstrong on Mystery
“Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of man’s desire to understand.” Neil Armstrong (1930 – 2012) Apollo 11 astronaut, first man on the Moon.
Elon Musk on Business
“Brand is just a perception, and perception will match reality over time. Sometimes it will be ahead, other times it will be behind. But brand is simply a collective impression some have about a product.” Elon Musk
Aldous Huxley on Happiness
“Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.” Aldous Huxley, Vedanta for the Western World, 1945 English critic & novelist (1894 – 1963)
Jake Roberts on Experience
“Every moment is an experience.” Jake Roberts
Blore’s Razor
“Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.” Blore’s Razor
