Cynical
Adam Osborne on Computers
“People think computers will keep them from making mistakes. They’re wrong. With computers you make mistakes faster.” Adam Osborne
Henry Kissinger on Politics
“Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.” Henry Kissinger US (German-born) diplomat & scholar (1923 – )
Woody Allen on the Universe
“I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.” Woody Allen US movie actor, comedian, & director (1935 – )
Socrates on Marriage
“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” Socrates
Ambrose Bierce on Acquaintances
“Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.” Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary US author & satirist (1842 – 1914)
Fred Allen on Fame
“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.” Fred Allen US radio comedian (1894 – 1956)
Robert Frost on Law
“A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.” Robert Frost, (attributed) US poet (1874 – 1963)
James F. Byrnes on Life
“Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.” James F. Byrnes US jurist & politician (1879 – 1972)
Mogens Jallberg on Democracy vs. Feudalism
“In democracy it’s your vote that counts; In feudalism it’s your count that votes.” Mogens Jallberg
Laurence J. Peter on Ignorance
“Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.” Laurence J. Peter US educator & writer (1919 – 1988)
Henry Adams Cynical Quote
“No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.” Henry Adams US author, autobiographer, & historian (1838 – 1918)
Rita Mae Brown on Computer Dating
“Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.” Rita Mae Brown US author and social activist
Lucille S. Harper Cynical Quote
“The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.” Lucille S. Harper
Dwight D. Eisenhower on Intellectuals
“An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.” Dwight D. Eisenhower 34th president of US 1953-1961 (1890 – 1969)
Ambrose Bierce on Politeness
“Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.” Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary US author & satirist (1842 – 1914)
Samuel Goldwyn on Writing
“I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.” Samuel Goldwyn US (Polish-born) movie producer (1882 – 1974)
Leo J. Burke on Children
“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” Leo J. Burke
Nikola Tesla on Scientists
“The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane.” Nikola Tesla, Modern Mechanics and Inventions. July, 1934 US (Serbian-born) electrical inventor (1857 – 1943)
Peter McArthur on Satirists
“A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.” Peter McArthur
Robert Frost on Life
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” Robert Frost US poet (1874 – 1963)
Caskie Stinnett on Diplomacy
“A diplomat… is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.” Caskie Stinnett, Out of the Red (1960)
Andrew W. Mathis on Luck
“It is bad luck to be superstitious.” Andrew W. Mathis
Hodding Carter on Television
“Television news is like a lightning flash. It makes a loud noise, lights up everything around it, leaves everything else in darkness and then is suddenly gone.” Hodding Carter
Glaser and Way on Law
“The problem with any unwritten law is that you don’t know where to go to erase it.” Glaser and Way
John Kenneth Galbraith on Thinking
“The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.” John Kenneth Galbraith US (Canadian-born) administrator & economist (1908 – 2006)
John Lehman on Power
“Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.” John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 US administrator (1942 – )
Oscar Wilde Cynical Quote
“True friends stab you in the front.” Oscar Wilde
Bob Wells on Government
“For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.” Bob Wells
Paul Johnson on Meaning
“The word ‘meaningful’ when used today is nearly always meaningless.” Paul Johnson
Daniel J. Boorstin on Greatness
“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.” Daniel J. Boorstin US historian (1914 – )
William G. McAdoo on Ignorance
“It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.” William G. McAdoo US industrialist, lawyer, & politician (1863 – 1941)
Robert X. Cringely on Technology
“If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.” Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld magazine
King Farouk of Egypt on Politics
“The whole world is in revolt. Soon there will be only five Kings left–the King of England, the King of Spades, The King of Clubs, the King of Hearts, and the King of Diamonds.” King Farouk of Egypt, 1948 king of Egypt 1936-1952 (1920 – 1965)
Laurence J. Peter on Politics
“Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.” Laurence J. Peter
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg Cynical Quote
“What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily as we open and shut our eyes!” Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 – 1799)
Bruce Grocott on Work
“I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.” Bruce Grocott British politician (1940 – )
Bertrand Russell on Society
“Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so.” Bertrand Russell British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 – 1970)
Thomas Sowell on History and Society
“Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good.” Thomas Sowell, Is Reality Optional?, 1993 (1930 – )
Plato on War
“Only the dead have seen the end of the war.” Plato
Cullen Hightower on Politics
“We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex–but Congress can.” Cullen Hightower
H. L. Mencken on Celebrities
“A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn’t know.” H. L. Mencken US editor (1880 – 1956)
Evan Esar on Conscience
“Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.” Evan Esar American Humorist (1899 – 1995)
Evan Esar on Character
“A signature always reveals a man’s character – and sometimes even his name.” Evan Esar American Humorist (1899 – 1995)
Samuel Goldwyn on Movies
“A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.” Samuel Goldwyn
P. J. O’Rourke on Politics and Luck
“A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.” P. J. O’Rourke US humorist & political commentator (1947-2022)
Scott Adams Cynical Quote
“You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.” Scott Adams, The Dilbert Future US cartoonist (1957 – )
Benjamin Disraeli Cynical Quote
“How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.” Benjamin Disraeli, Speech at the House of Commons, January 24, 1860 British politician (1804 – 1881)
Robertson Davies Cynical Quote
“Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them.” Robertson Davies
Dwight D. Eisenhower on Television
“I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.” Dwight D. Eisenhower 34th president of US 1953-1961 (1890 – 1969)
Amanda Cross on Quotations
“The point of quotations is that one can use another’s words to be insulting.” Amanda Cross US mystery novelist (1926 – 2003)