Cynical
Fran Lebowitz on Success
“Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.”
Kin Hubbard on Success
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?”
Lynda Barry on Love
“Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.”
Scott Adams on Business
“Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.”
Lester J. Pourciau on Politics
“There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee.”
Charles de Gaulle on Politics
“In politics it is necessary either to betray one’s country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate.”
Benjamin Franklin on Secrets
“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”
Paul Valery on Politics
“Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them.”
Samuel Johnson on Knowledge
“Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.”
Bill Watterson on Intelligent Life
“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”
Laurence J. Peter on Clutter
“If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?”
George Carlin on Nature
“Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.”
George Carlin on Freedom
“Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?”
Nancy Astor on Money
“The only thing I like about rich people is their money.”
Mark Twain on Education
“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”
George F. Will on Pessimism
“The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.”
P. B. Medawar on Ideas
“The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein; it rejects it.”
Alfred North Whitehead on Dogs and Cats
“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.”
Elbert Hubbard on Vacations
“No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one.”
Leonard Bernstein on Inspiration
“Inspiration is wonderful when it happens, but the writer must develop an approach for the rest of the time… The wait is simply too long.”
Franklin P. Jones on Punctuality
“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.”
Johnny Carson on Politics
“Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn’t grow up can be vice president.”
Euripides on Foolishness
“Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.”
Abraham Lincoln on Tact
“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.”
Marshall McLuhan’s Funny Quote
“I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say.”