Cynical
Clive Barnes on Television
“Television is the first truly democratic culture – the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.” Clive Barnes
Franklin P. Jones on Punctuality
“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” Franklin P. Jones
Oscar Wilde Cynical Quote
“Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.” Oscar Wilde Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 – 1900)
Marilyn Monroe on Hollywood
“Hollywood is a place where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.” Marilyn Monroe US actress (1926 – 1962)
Peter Ustinov on Science
“If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can’t be done.” Peter Ustinov English actor & author (1921 – 2004)
Ernest Benn on Politics
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.” Ernest Benn
Steven Wright Cynical Quote
“What’s another word for Thesaurus?” Steven Wright US comedian and actor (1955 – )
Mark Twain on Life
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” Mark Twain
Otto von Bismarck on Law
“Laws are like sausages. It’s better not to see them being made.” Otto von Bismarck German Prussian politician (1815 – 1898)
Doug Larson on Children
“Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.” Doug Larson
Bertrand Russell on Injustice
“In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying.” Bertrand Russell British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 – 1970)
Charles de Gaulle on History
“I have tried to lift France out of the mud. But she will return to her errors and vomitings. I cannot prevent the French from being French.” Charles de Gaulle
Charles de Gaulle on Politics
“In politics it is necessary either to betray one’s country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate.” Charles de Gaulle
George Burns on Politics
“Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.” George Burns US actor & comedian (1896 – 1996)
Esther Dyson on Internet
“The Internet is like alcohol in some sense. It accentuates what you would do anyway. If you want to be a loner, you can be more alone. If you want to connect, it makes it easier to connect.” Esther Dyson, Interview in Time Magazine, October 2005
Henry David Thoreau on Flying
“Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth!” Henry David Thoreau US Transcendentalist author (1817 – 1862)
Alice Roosevelt Longworth on Youth
“The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.” Alice Roosevelt Longworth US author & wit (1884 – 1980)
Oscar Wilde on Business
“My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people’s.” Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan, 1892 Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 – 1900)
Samuel Johnson on Knowledge
“Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.” Samuel Johnson, quoted in Boswell’s Life of Johnson English author, critic, & lexicographer (1709 – 1784)
Anonymous on Power
“All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.” Unknown
Edgar Bergen on Work
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” Edgar Bergen, (Charlie McCarthy) US comedian & ventriloquist (1903 – 1978)
Bertrand Russell Cynical Quote
“Every man, wherever he goes, is encompassed by a cloud of comforting convictions, which move with him like flies on a summer day.” Bertrand Russell, Sceptical Essays (1928), “Dreams and Facts” British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 – 1970)
Thomas Neill Cynical Quote
“Of those who say nothing, few are silent.” Thomas Neill
Thomas Pickering on Archaeology vs. Diplomacy
“In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known.” Thomas Pickering US diplomat (1931 – )
John Wilmot on Children
“Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.” John Wilmot
Johnny Carson on Politics
“Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn’t grow up can be vice president.” Johnny Carson US comedian & television host (1925 – 2005)
Jean Giraudoux on Mediocrity
“Only the mediocre are always at their best.” Jean Giraudoux French diplomat, dramatist, & novelist (1882 – 1944)
M. C. Escher on Work
“My work is a game, a very serious game.” M. C. Escher Dutch artist (1898 – 1972)
Robert W. Sarnoff on Finance
“Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.” Robert W. Sarnoff
Samuel Johnson on Writing
“Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.” Samuel Johnson, (attributed) English author, critic, & lexicographer (1709 – 1784)
Miguel de Cervantes on Truth
“Facts are the enemy of truth.” Miguel de Cervantes, Man of La Mancha Spanish adventurer, author, & poet (1547 – 1616)
H. L. Mencken on Imagination
“Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.” H. L. Mencken US editor (1880 – 1956)
Mahatma Gandhi on Work
“Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” Mahatma Gandhi Indian political and spiritual leader (1869 – 1948)
Paul Valery on Politics
“Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them.” Paul Valery, Tel Quel 2 (1943) French critic & poet (1871 – 1945)
Chester Bowles on Politics
“Government is too big and too important to be left to the politicians.” Chester Bowles US diplomat & economist (1901 – 1986)
Jef Mallett on Opinion
“An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.” Jef Mallett Frazz, 04-04-07
Don Juan Manuel on Praise
“He who praises you for what you lack wishes to take from you what you have.” Don Juan Manuel Spanish author & nobleman (1282 – 1349)
Gilbert K. Chesterton on Imagination
“It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong.” Gilbert K. Chesterton English author & mystery novelist (1874 – 1936)
Harlan Ellison’s Funny Quote
“The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.” Harlan Ellison US science fiction author & screenwriter (1934 – )
Pierre Beaumarchais Cynical Quote
“It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.” Pierre Beaumarchais French businessman & comic dramatist (1732 – 1799)
W. C. Fields on Gambling
“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.” W. C. Fields US actor (1880 – 1946)
Francis Bacon on Beauty
“There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” Sir Francis Bacon, “Of Beauty” English author, courtier, & philosopher (1561 – 1626)
Ralph Waldo Emerson on Greatness
“To be great is to be misunderstood.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, An Essay on Self-Reliance US essayist & poet (1803 – 1882)
Ludwig Wittgenstein on Philosophy
“Philosophy is a battle against the bewitchment of our intelligence by means of language.” Ludwig Wittgenstein Austrian philosopher (1889 – 1951)
Will Rogers on Direction
“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” Will Rogers US humorist & showman (1879 – 1935)
Scott Adams on Business
“Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.” Scott Adams
Charles Kuralt on Travel
“Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.” Charles Kuralt
Bertrand Russell on Controversies
“The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way.” Bertrand Russell British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 – 1970)
Thomas A. Edison on Thinking
“There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking.” Thomas A. Edison US inventor (1847 – 1931)
Evan Esar on Statistics
“Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.” Evan Esar, Esar’s Comic Dictionary American Humorist (1899 – 1995)