Cynical
Nancy Astor on Money
“The only thing I like about rich people is their money.” Nancy Astor British politician (1879 – 1964)
George Orwell on Writing
“In certain kinds of writing, particularly in art criticism and literary criticism, it is normal to come across long passages which are almost completely lacking in meaning.” George Orwell, “Politics and the English Language”, 1946 English essayist, novelist, & satirist (1903 – 1950)
Mark Twain on Temptation
“There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.” Mark Twain, Following the Equator (1897) US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 – 1910)
William Shakespeare on Honesty
“Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.” William Shakespeare Greatest English dramatist & poet (1564 – 1616)
Bernard Baruch on Politics
“Vote for the man who promises least; he’ll be the least disappointing.” Bernard Baruch
Robert Heinlein on Progress
“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.” Robert Heinlein, Time Enough For Love US science fiction author (1907 – 1988)
William Feather on Business
“A budget tells us what we can’t afford, but it doesn’t keep us from buying it.” William Feather
Robert Bakker on Taxes
“I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.” Robert Bakker, paleontologist
John Sladek on the Future
“The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive.” John Sladek
George Bernard Shaw on Politics
“Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.” George Bernard Shaw Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 – 1950)
Mark Twain on Procrastination
“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 – 1910)
Jules Renard on Literature
“Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none.” Jules Renard (1864 – 1910)
Bertrand Russell on Politics
“There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.” Bertrand Russell British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 – 1970)
Heywood Broun on Atheism
“Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God.” Heywood Broun US journalist (1888 – 1939)
George Bernard Shaw on Experience
“We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.” George Bernard Shaw
Robert Louis Stevenson on Life
“Perpetual devotion to what a man calls his business, is only to be sustained by perpetual neglect of many other things.” Robert Louis Stevenson Scottish author (1850 – 1894)
Edward Gibbon on History
“History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies and misfortunes of mankind.” Edward Gibbon English historian of Rome (1737 – 1794)
Cullen Hightower on Mistakes
“Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.” Cullen Hightower
Henry Ford on Idealism
“An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.” Henry Ford US automobile industrialist (1863 – 1947)
Harry S. Truman on Economy
“It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.” Harry S. Truman, in Observer, April 13, 1958 33rd president of US (1884 – 1972)
Albert Einstein on Future
“I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.” Albert Einstein US (German-born) physicist (1879 – 1955)
Leo Rosten on Happiness
“Money can’t buy happiness, but neither can poverty.” Leo Rosten US (Polish-born) author (1908 – 1997)
Woody Allen on Life
“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” Woody Allen US movie actor, comedian, & director (1935 – )
Thomas Szasz on Life
“The proverb warns that ‘You should not bite the hand that feeds you.’ But maybe you should, if it prevents you from feeding yourself.” Thomas Szasz
Mark Twain on Patriotism
“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.” Mark Twain
Voltaire on Songs
“Anything too stupid to be said is sung.” Voltaire French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 – 1778)
Aldous Huxley on Humanity
“Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.” Aldous Huxley English critic & novelist (1894 – 1963)
George Bernard Shaw on Democracy
“Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.” George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman (1903) “Maxims for Revolutionists” Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 – 1950)
Frank Dane on Politics
“Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.” Frank Dane
Jerome K. Jerome on Laziness
“It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.” Jerome K. Jerome British humor writer (1859 – 1927)
Thomas Szasz Cynical Quote
“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.” Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin (1973) “Social Relations”
George Bernard on Cynicism
“The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.” George Bernard Shaw Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 – 1950)
Will Rogers Cynical Quote
“We don’t know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.” Will Rogers US humorist & showman (1879 – 1935)
Sam Levenson on Wisdom
“You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” Sam Levenson (1911 – 1980)
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe on Ideas
“When ideas fail, words come in very handy.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe German dramatist, novelist, poet, & scientist (1749 – 1832)
Donald Trump on Moderation
“A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn’t exactly been one of moderation.” Donald Trump President of the United States of America as well as real estate construction & development businessman (1946 – )
Laurence J. Peter on Originality
“Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.” Laurence J. Peter US educator & writer (1919 – 1988)
Philip K. Dick on Reality
“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” Philip K. Dick, How to Build a Universe That Doesn’t Fall Apart Two Days Later, 1978 US science fiction author (1928 – 1982)
Bob Hope on Sports
“If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.” Bob Hope US (English-born) actor & comedian (1903 – 2003)
Ambrose Bierce Cynical Quote
“Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.” Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary US author & satirist (1842 – 1914)
P. B. Medawar on Ideas
“The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein; it rejects it.” P. B. Medawar British (Brazilian-born) anatomist (1915 – )
H. P. Lovecraft Cynical Quote
“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.” H. P. Lovecraft, “The Call of Cthulhu”, first line US horror & supernatural author (1890 – 1937)
Thomas Fuller on Facts
“Get the facts, or the facts will get you. And when you get them, get them right, or they will get you wrong.” Dr. Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732 British physician (1654 – 1734)
William James on Philosophy
“There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.” William James US Pragmatist philosopher & psychologist (1842 – 1910)
Henry David Thoreau Cynical Quote
“What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on?” Henry David Thoreau US Transcendentalist author (1817 – 1862)
Wilson Mizner on Help
“God help those who do not help themselves.” Wilson Mizner US screenwriter (1876 – 1933)
Napoleon Bonaparte on Politics
“In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.” Napoleon Bonaparte French general, politician and emperor (1769 – 1821)
Larry Hardiman on Politics
“The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’, and the word ‘ticks’, meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’.” Larry Hardiman
Bertrand Russell on Books
“There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.” Bertrand Russell British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 – 1970)
Martin Luther King Jr. on Science
“Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.” Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963 US black civil rights leader & clergyman (1929 – 1968)
Virgil Thomson on Music
“The way to write American music is simple. All you have to do is be an American and then write any kind of music you wish.” Virgil Thomson US composer, conductor, & music critic (1896 – 1989)
Ronald Reagan Cynical Quote
“The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away.” Ronald Reagan 40th president of US (1911 – 2004)
Gilbert K. Chesterton on Adventure
“An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.” Gilbert K. Chesterton English author & mystery novelist (1874 – 1936)
W. Somerset Maugham Cynical Quote
“I always find it more difficult to say the things I mean than the things I don’t.” W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil, 1925 English dramatist & novelist (1874 – 1965)
Don Marquis on Work
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” Don Marquis US humorist (1878 – 1937)
David Broder on Politics
“Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he’ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.” David Broder
Dave Barry on Argument
“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.” Dave Barry US columnist & humorist (1947 – )
Bill Watterson on Intelligent Life
“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.” Bill Watterson, cartoonist, Calvin and Hobbes US cartoonist (1958 – )
A. A. Milne on Disorder
“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.” A. A. Milne English juvenile author (1882 – 1956)
L. M. Boyd Cynical Quote
“There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool.” L. M. Boyd