Cynical
Jerome K. Jerome on Work
“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” Jerome K. Jerome, “Three Men in a Boat”, 1889 British humor writer (1859 – 1927)
George F. Will on Pessimism
“The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.” George F. Will US editor, commentator, & columnist (1941 – )
Robertson Davies on Children
“A happy childhood has spoiled many a promising life.” Robertson Davies, “What’s Bred in the Bone”
Bertrand Russell on Injustice
“In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying.” Bertrand Russell British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 – 1970)
Thomas Merton on Education
“The least of learning is done in the classrooms.” Thomas Merton US religious author, clergyman, & Trappist monk (1915 – 1968)-
Russell Baker on Misery
“Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.” Russell Baker US columnist & journalist (1925 – )
Gordon R. Dickson on Advice
“Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.” Gordon R. Dickson
Ambrose Bierce Philosophical Quote
“Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)” Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary US author & satirist (1842 – 1914)
H. L. Mencken on Age & Wisdom
“The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.” H. L. Mencken US editor (1880 – 1956)
Eugene McCarthy on Politics
“It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.” Eugene McCarthy US politician (1916 – 2005)
Arthur Schopenhauer Cynical Quote
“Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.” Arthur Schopenhauer German philosopher (1788 – 1860)
Mark Twain Cynical Quote on Politics
“Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 – 1910)
Frank Wilczek on Physics
“In physics, you don’t have to go around making trouble for yourself – nature does it for you.” Frank Wilczek American physicist (1951 – )
Robert Copeland on Committees
“To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.” Robert Copeland
Jeffery F. Chamberlain on America
“In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.” Jeffery F. Chamberlain
Louise Beal on Society
“Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood.” Louise Beal
Doug Larson on Age
“The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.” Doug Larson
Ernest Benn on Politics
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.” Ernest Benn
Gian Vincenzo Gravina Cynical Quote
“A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.” Gian Vincenzo Gravina (1664 – 1718)
Fran Lebowitz on Success
“Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.” Fran Lebowitz US writer and humorist (1950 – )
Francois de La Rochefoucauld on Faults
“We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.” Francois de La Rochefoucauld French author & moralist (1613 – 1680)
Charles De Gaulle on Politics
“How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?” Charles De Gaulle, in “Les Mots du General”, 1962 French general & politician (1890 – 1970)
Movie Quote on Health and Economy
“The entire economy of the Western world is built on things that cause cancer.” From the 1985 movie “Bliss”
Benjamin Franklin on Secrets
“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.” Benjamin Franklin US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, & printer (1706 – 1790)
Steven Wright Cynical Quote
“What’s another word for Thesaurus?” Steven Wright US comedian and actor (1955 – )
John Madden on Sports
“The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.” John Madden
Douglas Adams on the Universe
“There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.” Douglas Adams English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 – 2001)
Paul Valery on Books
“Books have the same enemies as people: fire, humidity, animals, weather, and their own content.” Paul Valery French critic & poet (1871 – 1945)
Jean Giraudoux on Mediocrity
“Only the mediocre are always at their best.” Jean Giraudoux French diplomat, dramatist, & novelist (1882 – 1944)
James Thurber on Art
“He knows all about art, but he doesn’t know what he likes.” James Thurber US author, cartoonist, humorist, & satirist (1894 – 1961)
Samuel Butler on Trouble
“Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds.” Samuel Butler English composer, novelist, & satiric author (1835 – 1902)
Miguel de Cervantes on Truth
“Facts are the enemy of truth.” Miguel de Cervantes, Man of La Mancha Spanish adventurer, author, & poet (1547 – 1616)
Bob Hope on Money
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” Bob Hope
Helen Rowland on Life
“The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.” Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922 (1876 – 1950)
Will Rogers on Doctors
“The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what is the matter-he’s got to just know.” Will Rogers US humorist & showman (1879 – 1935)
Marilyn Monroe on Hollywood
“Hollywood is a place where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.” Marilyn Monroe US actress (1926 – 1962)
Publius Tacitus on Laws
“The more numerous the laws, the more corrupt the government.” Publius Tacitus, Annals (117 AD) (Corruptissima re publica plurimae leges)
William Goldman on Life
“Life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.” William Goldman, “The Princess Bride”
Winston Churchill on Democracy
“It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.” Sir Winston Churchill British politician (1874 – 1965)
Alfred Hitchcock on Media
“Seeing a murder on television… can help work off one’s antagonisms. And if you haven’t any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.” Alfred Hitchcock British movie director (1899 – 1980)
Alfred North Whitehead on Dogs and Cats
“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.” Alfred North Whitehead English mathematician & philosopher (1861 – 1947)
E. F. Schumacher on Innovation
“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.” E. F. Schumacher
Alfred North Whitehead’s Cynical Quote
“Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.” Alfred North Whitehead English mathematician & philosopher (1861 – 1947)
Floyd Dell on Idleness
“Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything.” Floyd Dell
Mark Twain on Life
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” Mark Twain
Will Rogers on Direction
“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” Will Rogers US humorist & showman (1879 – 1935)
Thomas Jefferson on Luck
“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.” Thomas Jefferson, (attributed) 3rd president of US (1743 – 1826)
Samuel Johnson on Knowledge
“Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.” Samuel Johnson, quoted in Boswell’s Life of Johnson English author, critic, & lexicographer (1709 – 1784)
G.K. Chesterton on Modernism
“He who marries the spirit of the times will soon find himself a widower.” Gilbert K. Chesterton English author & mystery novelist (1874 – 1936)
Winston Churchill on Learning
“Personally I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.” Sir Winston Churchill British politician (1874 – 1965)
Scott Adams on Business
“Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.” Scott Adams
Charles de Gaulle on History
“I have tried to lift France out of the mud. But she will return to her errors and vomitings. I cannot prevent the French from being French.” Charles de Gaulle
Thomas Sowell on Truth
“There are only two ways of telling the complete truth–anonymously and posthumously.” Thomas Sowell (1930 – )
Mark Twain on Education
“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.” Mark Twain
Marlene Dietrich on Wisdom
“I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself.” Marlene Dietrich German movie actress (1901 – 1992)
Gilbert K. Chesterton on Journalism
“Journalism largely consists of saying ‘Lord Jones is Dead’ to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.” Gilbert K. Chesterton English author & mystery novelist (1874 – 1936)
Edgar Watson Howe on Lies
“Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.” Edgar Watson Howe US journalist (1853 – 1937)
Robertson Davies on Society
“There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of communal stupidity.” Robertson Davies
Mark Twain on Work
“Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.” Mark Twain
George Burns on Politics
“Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.” George Burns US actor & comedian (1896 – 1996)