Cynical
Martin Luther King Jr. on Science
“Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.” Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963 US black civil rights leader & clergyman (1929 – 1968)
Virgil Thomson on Music
“The way to write American music is simple. All you have to do is be an American and then write any kind of music you wish.” Virgil Thomson US composer, conductor, & music critic (1896 – 1989)
Ronald Reagan Cynical Quote
“The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away.” Ronald Reagan 40th president of US (1911 – 2004)
Gilbert K. Chesterton on Adventure
“An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.” Gilbert K. Chesterton English author & mystery novelist (1874 – 1936)
W. Somerset Maugham Cynical Quote
“I always find it more difficult to say the things I mean than the things I don’t.” W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil, 1925 English dramatist & novelist (1874 – 1965)
Don Marquis on Work
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” Don Marquis US humorist (1878 – 1937)
David Broder on Politics
“Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he’ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.” David Broder
Dave Barry on Argument
“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.” Dave Barry US columnist & humorist (1947 – )
Bill Watterson on Intelligent Life
“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.” Bill Watterson, cartoonist, Calvin and Hobbes US cartoonist (1958 – )
A. A. Milne on Disorder
“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.” A. A. Milne English juvenile author (1882 – 1956)
L. M. Boyd Cynical Quote
“There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool.” L. M. Boyd
Stanislaw J. Lec on Patience
“You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.” Stanislaw J. Lec, “Unkempt Thoughts” Polish writer (1909 – 1966)
Edward Abbey on Tyranny
“No tyranny is so irksome as petty tyranny: the officious demands of policemen, government clerks, and electromechanical gadgets.” Edward Abbey US radical environmentalist (1927 – 1989)
Jeff Marder Cynical Quote
“We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.” Jeff Marder
Ambrose Bierce on Absurdity
“Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.” Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary US author & satirist (1842 – 1914)
Gertrude Stein on Information
“Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.” Gertrude Stein US author in France (1874 – 1946)
Marshall McLuhan’s Funny Quote
“I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say.” Marshall McLuhan Canadian author, educator, & philosopher (1911 – 1980)
Napoleon Bonaparte on Peace
“If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon shots.” Napoleon Bonaparte
Frank Gifford on Sports
“Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.” Frank Gifford
Jay Leno Cynical Quote
“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.” Jay Leno US comedian & television host (1950 – )
Jerry Seinfeld on Society
“A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.” Jerry Seinfeld US comedian & television actor (1954 – )
Carl Becker on Humanity
“The significance of man is that he is insignificant and is aware of it.” Carl Becker
J. Bartlett Brebner on Politics
“Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.” J. Bartlett Brebner
Benjamin Franklin on Money
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” Benjamin Franklin US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, & printer (1706 – 1790)
Otto von Bismarck Cynical Quote
“When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn’t the slightest intention of putting it into practice.” Otto von Bismarck German Prussian politician (1815 – 1898)
George Orwell on Language
“The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink.” George Orwell, “Politics and the English Language”, 1946 English essayist, novelist, & satirist (1903 – 1950)
Oscar Wilde on Truth
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.” Oscar Wilde Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 – 1900)
E. B. White on Planning
“I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.” E. B. White US author & humorist (1899 – 1985)
Lester J. Pourciau on Politics
“There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee.” Lester J. Pourciau
Bertrand Russell on Happiness
“If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.” Bertrand Russell British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 – 1970)
Elbert Hubbard on Journalism
“Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.” Elbert Hubbard US author (1856 – 1915)
Oscar Wilde on Business
“My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people’s.” Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan, 1892 Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 – 1900)
Robert Benchley on Quotations
“The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.” Robert Benchley US actor, author, & humorist (1889 – 1945)
Charles Peters on Politics
“Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy.” Charles Peters
Anonymous on Power
“All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.” Unknown
Blore’s Razor
“Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.” Blore’s Razor
Margaret Millar Cynical Quote
“Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.” Margaret Millar
E. V. Lucas on Tardiness
“I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.” E. V. Lucas
John Russell on Sanity
“Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.” John Russell
Paul Valery on Politics
“Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them.” Paul Valery, Tel Quel 2 (1943) French critic & poet (1871 – 1945)
Philip Johnson on Architecture
“Architecture is the art of how to waste space.” Philip Johnson US architect (1906 – 2005)
Helen Rowland on Marriage
“One man’s folly is another man’s wife.” Helen Rowland (1876 – 1950)
Mark Twain on Life
“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.” Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author (1835 – 1910)
Aldous Huxley on Improvement
“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” Aldous Huxley
Franklin Pierce Adams Cynical Quote
“Seeing ourselves as others see us would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them.” Franklin Pierce Adams US journalist (1881 – 1960)
Friedrich Nietzsche’s Cynical Quote
“Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.” Friedrich Nietzsche German philosopher (1844 – 1900)
Laurence J. Peter on Clutter
“If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?” Laurence J. Peter US educator & writer (1919 – 1988)
Ronald Reagan on Politics
“Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.” Ronald Reagan 40th president of US (1911 – 2004)
George Bernard Shaw on England and America
“England and America are two countries separated by a common language.” George Bernard Shaw Irish dramatist (1856 – 1950)
Ambrose Bierce on Science
“There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.” Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary US author & satirist (1842 – 1914)