Cynical
Nancy Astor on Success
“The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you.” Nancy Astor British politician (1879 – 1964)
Dave Barry on Sports
“Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.” Dave Barry
Sir William Preece on the Telephone
“The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.” Sir William Preece Chief engineer of the British Post Office, 1876
Ogden Nash on Dogs
“A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.” Ogden Nash US humorist & poet (1902 – 1971)
Mark Twain’s Cynical Quote
“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.” Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 – 1910)
Ernest Rutherford on Science
“All science is either physics or stamp collecting.” Ernest Rutherford, in J. B. Birks “Rutherford at Manchester” (1962) British chemist & physicist (1871 – 1937)
Charles Caleb Colton Cynical Quote
“If you would be known, and not know, vegetate in a village; If you would know, and not be known, live in a city.” Charles Caleb Colton (1780 – 1832)
Lillian Hellman on Cynicism
“Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.” Lillian Hellman, The Little Foxes, 1939 US dramatist (1905 – 1984)
George Bernard Shaw on Education
“A fool’s brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.” George Bernard Shaw Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 – 1950)
Eugene McCarthy on Bureaucracy
“The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty.” Eugene McCarthy, Time magazine, Feb. 12, 1979 US politician (1916 – 2005)
Peter Drucker on Management
“So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work.” Peter Drucker American (Austrian-born) management writer (1909 – 2005)
Lyndon B. Johnson on Politics
“If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read ‘President Can’t Swim’.” Lyndon B. Johnson 36th president of US (1908 – 1973)
Charles Caleb Colton on Hate
“We hate some persons because we do not know them; and we will not know them because we hate them.” Charles Caleb Colton (1780 – 1832)
George Harrison on Direction
“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” George Harrison, “Any Road”, Brainwashed, 2002 English singer & songwriter (1943 – 2001)
Elbert Hubbard on Vacations
“No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one.” Elbert Hubbard US author (1856 – 1915)
J. W. Eagan on Books and Movies
“Never judge a book by its movie.” J. W. Eagan
Henry J. Tillman’s Cynical Quote
“If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.” Henry J. Tillman
Barry LePatner on Experience
“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.” Barry LePatner
Francois de La Rochefoucauld Cynical Quote
“We always like those who admire us; we do not always like those whom we admire.” Francois de La Rochefoucauld French author & moralist (1613 – 1680)
Georges Clemenceau on Experience
“All that I know I learned after I was thirty.” Georges Clemenceau
Nancy Astor on Money
“The only thing I like about rich people is their money.” Nancy Astor British politician (1879 – 1964)
George Orwell on Writing
“In certain kinds of writing, particularly in art criticism and literary criticism, it is normal to come across long passages which are almost completely lacking in meaning.” George Orwell, “Politics and the English Language”, 1946 English essayist, novelist, & satirist (1903 – 1950)
Mark Twain on Temptation
“There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.” Mark Twain, Following the Equator (1897) US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 – 1910)
William Shakespeare on Honesty
“Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.” William Shakespeare Greatest English dramatist & poet (1564 – 1616)
Bernard Baruch on Politics
“Vote for the man who promises least; he’ll be the least disappointing.” Bernard Baruch
Robert Heinlein on Progress
“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.” Robert Heinlein, Time Enough For Love US science fiction author (1907 – 1988)
William Feather on Business
“A budget tells us what we can’t afford, but it doesn’t keep us from buying it.” William Feather
Robert Bakker on Taxes
“I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.” Robert Bakker, paleontologist
John Sladek on the Future
“The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive.” John Sladek
George Bernard Shaw on Politics
“Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.” George Bernard Shaw Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 – 1950)
Mark Twain on Procrastination
“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 – 1910)
Jules Renard on Literature
“Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none.” Jules Renard (1864 – 1910)
Bertrand Russell on Politics
“There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.” Bertrand Russell British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 – 1970)
Heywood Broun on Atheism
“Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God.” Heywood Broun US journalist (1888 – 1939)
George Bernard Shaw on Experience
“We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.” George Bernard Shaw
Robert Louis Stevenson on Life
“Perpetual devotion to what a man calls his business, is only to be sustained by perpetual neglect of many other things.” Robert Louis Stevenson Scottish author (1850 – 1894)
Edward Gibbon on History
“History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies and misfortunes of mankind.” Edward Gibbon English historian of Rome (1737 – 1794)
Cullen Hightower on Mistakes
“Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.” Cullen Hightower
Henry Ford on Idealism
“An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.” Henry Ford US automobile industrialist (1863 – 1947)
Harry S. Truman on Economy
“It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.” Harry S. Truman, in Observer, April 13, 1958 33rd president of US (1884 – 1972)
Albert Einstein on Future
“I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.” Albert Einstein US (German-born) physicist (1879 – 1955)
Leo Rosten on Happiness
“Money can’t buy happiness, but neither can poverty.” Leo Rosten US (Polish-born) author (1908 – 1997)
Woody Allen on Life
“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” Woody Allen US movie actor, comedian, & director (1935 – )
Thomas Szasz on Life
“The proverb warns that ‘You should not bite the hand that feeds you.’ But maybe you should, if it prevents you from feeding yourself.” Thomas Szasz
Mark Twain on Patriotism
“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.” Mark Twain
Voltaire on Songs
“Anything too stupid to be said is sung.” Voltaire French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 – 1778)
Aldous Huxley on Humanity
“Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.” Aldous Huxley English critic & novelist (1894 – 1963)
George Bernard Shaw on Democracy
“Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.” George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman (1903) “Maxims for Revolutionists” Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 – 1950)
Frank Dane on Politics
“Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.” Frank Dane
Jerome K. Jerome on Laziness
“It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.” Jerome K. Jerome British humor writer (1859 – 1927)
Thomas Szasz Cynical Quote
“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.” Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin (1973) “Social Relations”
George Bernard on Cynicism
“The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.” George Bernard Shaw Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 – 1950)
Will Rogers Cynical Quote
“We don’t know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.” Will Rogers US humorist & showman (1879 – 1935)
Sam Levenson on Wisdom
“You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” Sam Levenson (1911 – 1980)
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe on Ideas
“When ideas fail, words come in very handy.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe German dramatist, novelist, poet, & scientist (1749 – 1832)
Donald Trump on Moderation
“A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn’t exactly been one of moderation.” Donald Trump President of the United States of America as well as real estate construction & development businessman (1946 – )
Laurence J. Peter on Originality
“Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.” Laurence J. Peter US educator & writer (1919 – 1988)
Philip K. Dick on Reality
“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” Philip K. Dick, How to Build a Universe That Doesn’t Fall Apart Two Days Later, 1978 US science fiction author (1928 – 1982)
Bob Hope on Sports
“If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.” Bob Hope US (English-born) actor & comedian (1903 – 2003)
Ambrose Bierce Cynical Quote
“Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.” Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary US author & satirist (1842 – 1914)