Cynical
William James on Philosophy
“There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.” William James US Pragmatist philosopher & psychologist (1842 – 1910)
Henry David Thoreau Cynical Quote
“What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on?” Henry David Thoreau US Transcendentalist author (1817 – 1862)
Wilson Mizner on Help
“God help those who do not help themselves.” Wilson Mizner US screenwriter (1876 – 1933)
Napoleon Bonaparte on Politics
“In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.” Napoleon Bonaparte French general, politician and emperor (1769 – 1821)
Winston Churchill on Learning
“Personally I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.” Sir Winston Churchill British politician (1874 – 1965)
Gian Vincenzo Gravina Cynical Quote
“A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.” Gian Vincenzo Gravina (1664 – 1718)
Larry Hardiman on Politics
“The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’, and the word ‘ticks’, meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’.” Larry Hardiman
Bertrand Russell on Books
“There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.” Bertrand Russell British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 – 1970)
Martin Luther King Jr. on Science
“Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.” Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963 US black civil rights leader & clergyman (1929 – 1968)
Samuel Butler on Trouble
“Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds.” Samuel Butler English composer, novelist, & satiric author (1835 – 1902)
Virgil Thomson on Music
“The way to write American music is simple. All you have to do is be an American and then write any kind of music you wish.” Virgil Thomson US composer, conductor, & music critic (1896 – 1989)
Ronald Reagan Cynical Quote
“The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away.” Ronald Reagan 40th president of US (1911 – 2004)
Mark Twain Cynical Quote on Politics
“Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 – 1910)
Gilbert K. Chesterton on Adventure
“An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.” Gilbert K. Chesterton English author & mystery novelist (1874 – 1936)
W. Somerset Maugham Cynical Quote
“I always find it more difficult to say the things I mean than the things I don’t.” W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil, 1925 English dramatist & novelist (1874 – 1965)
Don Marquis on Work
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” Don Marquis US humorist (1878 – 1937)
David Broder on Politics
“Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he’ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.” David Broder
Bill Watterson on Intelligent Life
“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.” Bill Watterson, cartoonist, Calvin and Hobbes US cartoonist (1958 – )
Dave Barry on Argument
“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.” Dave Barry US columnist & humorist (1947 – )
Robert Benchley on Quotations
“The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.” Robert Benchley US actor, author, & humorist (1889 – 1945)
Don Marquis on Progress
“The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.” Don Marquis US humorist (1878 – 1937)
A. A. Milne on Disorder
“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.” A. A. Milne English juvenile author (1882 – 1956)
L. M. Boyd Cynical Quote
“There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool.” L. M. Boyd
Stanislaw J. Lec on Patience
“You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.” Stanislaw J. Lec, “Unkempt Thoughts” Polish writer (1909 – 1966)
Edward Abbey on Tyranny
“No tyranny is so irksome as petty tyranny: the officious demands of policemen, government clerks, and electromechanical gadgets.” Edward Abbey US radical environmentalist (1927 – 1989)
Jeff Marder Cynical Quote
“We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.” Jeff Marder
Gertrude Stein on Information
“Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.” Gertrude Stein US author in France (1874 – 1946)
Ambrose Bierce on Absurdity
“Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.” Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary US author & satirist (1842 – 1914)
Marshall McLuhan’s Funny Quote
“I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say.” Marshall McLuhan Canadian author, educator, & philosopher (1911 – 1980)
Napoleon Bonaparte on Peace
“If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon shots.” Napoleon Bonaparte
Gilbert K. Chesterton on Journalism
“Journalism largely consists of saying ‘Lord Jones is Dead’ to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.” Gilbert K. Chesterton English author & mystery novelist (1874 – 1936)
Frank Gifford on Sports
“Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.” Frank Gifford
Jerry Seinfeld on Society
“A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.” Jerry Seinfeld US comedian & television actor (1954 – )
Jay Leno Cynical Quote
“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.” Jay Leno US comedian & television host (1950 – )
J. Bartlett Brebner on Politics
“Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.” J. Bartlett Brebner
Otto von Bismarck Cynical Quote
“When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn’t the slightest intention of putting it into practice.” Otto von Bismarck German Prussian politician (1815 – 1898)
Oscar Wilde on Truth
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.” Oscar Wilde Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 – 1900)
Benjamin Franklin on Politics
“All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse.” Benjamin Franklin US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, & printer (1706 – 1790)
Edmond de Goncourt on Art
“A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.” Edmond de Goncourt French artist & novelist (1822 – 1896)
Bertrand Russell on Happiness
“If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.” Bertrand Russell British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 – 1970)
E. V. Lucas on Tardiness
“I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.” E. V. Lucas
Floyd Dell on Idleness
“Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything.” Floyd Dell
Mark Twain on Education
“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.” Mark Twain
Lester J. Pourciau on Politics
“There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee.” Lester J. Pourciau
Philip Johnson on Architecture
“Architecture is the art of how to waste space.” Philip Johnson US architect (1906 – 2005)
Cecil Baxter Cynical Quote
“You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty.” Cecil Baxter
Mark Twain on Life
“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.” Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author (1835 – 1910)
Aldous Huxley on Improvement
“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” Aldous Huxley
Poul Anderson on Problems
“I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.” Poul Anderson US science fiction author (1926 – 2001)
Russell Baker on Misery
“Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.” Russell Baker US columnist & journalist (1925 – )