Cynical
Laurence J. Peter on Clutter
“If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?” Laurence J. Peter US educator & writer (1919 – 1988)
Bob Hope on Money
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” Bob Hope
George Bernard Shaw on Experience
“We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.” George Bernard Shaw
Robert Louis Stevenson on Life
“Perpetual devotion to what a man calls his business, is only to be sustained by perpetual neglect of many other things.” Robert Louis Stevenson Scottish author (1850 – 1894)
John Russell on Sanity
“Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.” John Russell
Doug Larson on Children
“Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.” Doug Larson
Cullen Hightower on Mistakes
“Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.” Cullen Hightower
Edward Gibbon on History
“History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies and misfortunes of mankind.” Edward Gibbon English historian of Rome (1737 – 1794)
Harry S. Truman on Economy
“It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.” Harry S. Truman, in Observer, April 13, 1958 33rd president of US (1884 – 1972)
Albert Einstein on Future
“I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.” Albert Einstein US (German-born) physicist (1879 – 1955)
Leo Rosten on Happiness
“Money can’t buy happiness, but neither can poverty.” Leo Rosten US (Polish-born) author (1908 – 1997)
Henry Ford on Idealism
“An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.” Henry Ford US automobile industrialist (1863 – 1947)
Thomas Szasz on Life
“The proverb warns that ‘You should not bite the hand that feeds you.’ But maybe you should, if it prevents you from feeding yourself.” Thomas Szasz
Doug Larson on Age
“The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.” Doug Larson
Mark Twain on Patriotism
“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.” Mark Twain
Voltaire on Songs
“Anything too stupid to be said is sung.” Voltaire French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 – 1778)
Otto von Bismarck on Law
“Laws are like sausages. It’s better not to see them being made.” Otto von Bismarck German Prussian politician (1815 – 1898)
Woody Allen on Life
“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” Woody Allen US movie actor, comedian, & director (1935 – )
Frank Dane on Politics
“Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.” Frank Dane
Thomas Szasz Cynical Quote
“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.” Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin (1973) “Social Relations”
Aldous Huxley on Humanity
“Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.” Aldous Huxley English critic & novelist (1894 – 1963)
Will Rogers Cynical Quote
“We don’t know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.” Will Rogers US humorist & showman (1879 – 1935)
George Bernard Shaw on Democracy
“Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.” George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman (1903) “Maxims for Revolutionists” Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 – 1950)
Jerome K. Jerome on Laziness
“It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.” Jerome K. Jerome British humor writer (1859 – 1927)
George Bernard on Cynicism
“The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.” George Bernard Shaw Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 – 1950)
Marilyn Monroe on Hollywood
“Hollywood is a place where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.” Marilyn Monroe US actress (1926 – 1962)
Margaret Millar Cynical Quote
“Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.” Margaret Millar
Sam Levenson on Wisdom
“You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” Sam Levenson (1911 – 1980)
Helen Rowland on Marriage
“One man’s folly is another man’s wife.” Helen Rowland (1876 – 1950)
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe on Ideas
“When ideas fail, words come in very handy.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe German dramatist, novelist, poet, & scientist (1749 – 1832)
Ambrose Bierce Philosophical Quote
“Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)” Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary US author & satirist (1842 – 1914)
Donald Trump on Moderation
“A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn’t exactly been one of moderation.” Donald Trump President of the United States of America as well as real estate construction & development businessman (1946 – )
Charles De Gaulle on Politics
“How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?” Charles De Gaulle, in “Les Mots du General”, 1962 French general & politician (1890 – 1970)
Alfred North Whitehead’s Cynical Quote
“Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.” Alfred North Whitehead English mathematician & philosopher (1861 – 1947)
Philip K. Dick on Reality
“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” Philip K. Dick, How to Build a Universe That Doesn’t Fall Apart Two Days Later, 1978 US science fiction author (1928 – 1982)
Laurence J. Peter on Originality
“Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.” Laurence J. Peter US educator & writer (1919 – 1988)
Roger Allen on Age
“In case you’re worried about what’s going to become of the younger generation, it’s going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation.” Roger Allen
Bob Hope on Sports
“If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.” Bob Hope US (English-born) actor & comedian (1903 – 2003)
Mark Twain on Life
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” Mark Twain
Thomas Jefferson on Luck
“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.” Thomas Jefferson, (attributed) 3rd president of US (1743 – 1826)
Ernest Benn on Politics
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.” Ernest Benn
Peter Ustinov on Science
“If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can’t be done.” Peter Ustinov English actor & author (1921 – 2004)
Ambrose Bierce Cynical Quote
“Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.” Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary US author & satirist (1842 – 1914)
H. P. Lovecraft Cynical Quote
“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.” H. P. Lovecraft, “The Call of Cthulhu”, first line US horror & supernatural author (1890 – 1937)
P. B. Medawar on Ideas
“The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein; it rejects it.” P. B. Medawar British (Brazilian-born) anatomist (1915 – )
Thomas Fuller on Facts
“Get the facts, or the facts will get you. And when you get them, get them right, or they will get you wrong.” Dr. Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732 British physician (1654 – 1734)
William James on Philosophy
“There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.” William James US Pragmatist philosopher & psychologist (1842 – 1910)
Henry David Thoreau Cynical Quote
“What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on?” Henry David Thoreau US Transcendentalist author (1817 – 1862)
Wilson Mizner on Help
“God help those who do not help themselves.” Wilson Mizner US screenwriter (1876 – 1933)
Napoleon Bonaparte on Politics
“In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.” Napoleon Bonaparte French general, politician and emperor (1769 – 1821)