Cynical
Kin Hubbard on Success
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” Kin Hubbard (1868 – 1930)
Patrick Young on Weather
“The trouble with weather forecasting is that it’s right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.” Patrick Young
Oscar Wilde on Society
“The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.” Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist, 1891 Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 – 1900)
Adam Osborne on Computers
“People think computers will keep them from making mistakes. They’re wrong. With computers you make mistakes faster.” Adam Osborne
George Bernard Shaw on History
“If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.” George Bernard Shaw Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 – 1950)
Marlene Dietrich on Wisdom
“I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself.” Marlene Dietrich German movie actress (1901 – 1992)
Winston Churchill on Democracy
“It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.” Sir Winston Churchill British politician (1874 – 1965)
G.K. Chesterton on Modernism
“He who marries the spirit of the times will soon find himself a widower.” Gilbert K. Chesterton English author & mystery novelist (1874 – 1936)
Judith Martin on Conversation
“Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.” Judith Martin, (Miss Manners)
Ronald Reagan on Government
“The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.'” Ronald Reagan 40th president of US (1911 – 2004)
Dan Rather on Americans
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.” Dan Rather US television newscaster (1931 – )
Socrates on Marriage
“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” Socrates
Hobart Brown on Money and Happiness
“Money doesn’t always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars.” Hobart Brown
Jay Leno on Politics
“If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.” Jay Leno US comedian & television host (1950 – )
Doug Larson on Work
“Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.” Doug Larson
James F. Byrnes on Life
“Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.” James F. Byrnes US jurist & politician (1879 – 1972)
Fred Allen on Fame
“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.” Fred Allen US radio comedian (1894 – 1956)
Margaret Thatcher on Politics
“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other peoples money.” Margaret Thatcher
Henry Kissinger on Politics
“Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.” Henry Kissinger US (German-born) diplomat & scholar (1923 – )
Robert Frost on Law
“A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.” Robert Frost, (attributed) US poet (1874 – 1963)
Sir Barnett Cocks on Politics
“A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.” Sir Barnett Cocks (1907 – 1989)
Woody Allen on the Universe
“I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.” Woody Allen US movie actor, comedian, & director (1935 – )
Douglas Adams on Politics
“Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.” Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 – 2001)
Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet on Democracy
“Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.” Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet
William James on Society
“A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.” William James US Pragmatist philosopher & psychologist (1842 – 1910)
William S. Burroughs on Politics and Science Fiction
“After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say ‘I want to see the manager.’ “ William S. Burroughs US author (1914 – 1997)
H. L. Mencken Cynical Quote
“The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.” H. L. Mencken US editor (1880 – 1956)
Fred Allen on Hollywood
“You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart.” Fred Allen US radio comedian (1894 – 1956)
Ronald Reagan on Politics
“I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.” Ronald Reagan 40th president of US (1911 – 2004)
Lucille S. Harper Cynical Quote
“The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.” Lucille S. Harper
Ralph Waldo Emerson on Thoughts
“In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Self Reliance” US essayist & poet (1803 – 1882)
Ellen Goodman on Journalism
“In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first and getting it right.” Ellen Goodman American journalist (1941 – )
Sir Alec Issigonis Funny Quote
“A camel is a horse designed by a committee” Sir Alec Issigonis
Doug Larson Cynical Quote
“A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.” Doug Larson
Mogens Jallberg on Democracy vs. Feudalism
“In democracy it’s your vote that counts; In feudalism it’s your count that votes.” Mogens Jallberg
Francois de La Rochefoucauld on Faults
“We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.” Francois de La Rochefoucauld French author & moralist (1613 – 1680)
John Kenneth Galbraith Cynical Quote
“If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.” John Kenneth Galbraith US (Canadian-born) administrator & economist (1908 – 2006)
Napoleon Bonaparte on Politics
“He who knows how to flatter also knows how to slander.” Napoleon Bonaparte
Anatole France on Law
“The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.” Anatole France, The Red Lily, 1894, chapter 7 French novelist (1844 – 1924)
Hob Broun on Realism
“Realism… has no more to do with reality than anything else.” Hob Broun
Samuel Goldwyn on Writing
“I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.” Samuel Goldwyn US (Polish-born) movie producer (1882 – 1974)
Laurence J. Peter on Ignorance
“Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.” Laurence J. Peter US educator & writer (1919 – 1988)
Stephen Covey on Problems
“The way we see the problem is the problem.” Stephen Covey
Rita Mae Brown on Computer Dating
“Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.” Rita Mae Brown US author and social activist
Carl Becker on Humanity
“The significance of man is that he is insignificant and is aware of it.” Carl Becker
Lewis Thomas on Language
“The great thing about human language is that it prevents us from sticking to the matter at hand.” Lewis Thomas US author, biologist, physician (1913 – 1993)
Dwight D. Eisenhower on Intellectuals
“An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.” Dwight D. Eisenhower 34th president of US 1953-1961 (1890 – 1969)
Abraham Lincoln’s Cynical Quote
“It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.” Abraham Lincoln 16th president of US (1809 – 1865)
Andrew W. Mathis on Luck
“It is bad luck to be superstitious.” Andrew W. Mathis
H. L. Mencken on Politics
“Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.” H. L. Mencken US editor (1880 – 1956)